My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Thursday, January 26, 2023

Restricted Access: For OIG Hotline Investigators Only

This post is intended for the Investigations Division of the Office of the Inspector General Hotline of the U.S. DOJ only.

All other readers are asked to exit this post at this time.

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OIG Hotline investigators, my stalker has appeared to "recommend" recently that I "explain" any and all hotel stays over the last five years.

First and foremost, I will simply say that my cell phones should make quite clear that my hotel stays were perfectly honorable.  I have preserved all of my cell phones as evidence, and their ownership has been conveyed to the OIG Hotline Investigations Division for forensic examination.

I believe that documentation of all cell phone activity can be retrieved from the device itself, though clearly, that process should be a secure one.

My immediate recollection of meals or stays at hotels over the last five years includes:

  • a lunch at the Four Seasons Hotel in East Palo Alto
  • several brunches and dinners with friends at the Rosewood Hotel in Menlo Park
  • several writing retreats to the Nobu Hotel in Palo Alto and the Fairmont Hotel in San Jose
  • one stay at a San Jose hotel called the Hayes Mansion when threats from my stalker xxxxxxx xxxx appeared to convey an imminent risk to my family
It is worth noting that Mr. Michael Morris of TSCM America sat in our living room in Portola Valley on Sunday, September 5, 2021 and recommended to me that I physically destroy all of my old cell phones with a hammer.  When I asked him why, he stated that, otherwise, all information could be retrieved from the device itself.

Anytime someone is recommending the destruction of physical evidence, I become concerned.

My stalker seemed to assert that Mr. Michael Morris is signatory to Infragard, and that the $4000 my husband and I paid him, together with his employee Ivan Vikin, to clear our home of surveillance devices was effectively "thrown away."

I note that TSCM's trademarked slogan is "Protecting America's Privacy."

Indeed.

I have concerns that TSCM might be, in truth, protecting the far right's privacy.  If so, I don't believe that role defends America's interests in any way, shape or form.

I will add to this commentary two other details:

First, my stalker seems to be repeatedly referencing a "blue dress" as it pertains to falsified law enforcement reporting connected to hotel stays.  I regret that I do not understand this reference.  I don't know whether a blue dress was removed from my closet at home -- which could have been perpetrated by a house cleaner, by Ivan Vikin, or by Ruperto Solis, among other workers, all of whom would have had access during contracted jobs in my home.  I'm simply uncertain as to how a "blue dress" pertains to false claims about me.  This is knowledge to which I do not currently have access.

Second, I include below an email I sent to myself for documentation purposes on Tuesday, September 29, 2022.  Please note that certain information has been redacted from this post.  However, for those who have access to my email account, lanemacwilliams@gmail.com, the full content is available  in its original form.

I hereby certify that this information is true and correct.

Most sincerely,







Lane MacWilliams

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Email sent to: lanemacwilliams@gmail.com, lmacwilliams77419@gmail.com, lmacwilliams7417@gmail.com. From: lanemacwilliams@gmail.com. Date: September 29, 2022 at 2:38 PM

Re:  Hayes Mansion?

Was this the location I retreated to once when xxxxxxx xxxx threatened to kill both Graham and me during a period when Ken was away?

Perhaps try to verify the date through the credit card company?

I remember being panicked at the thought that Graham was in harms's way when I made a late reservation at what I believe to be the Hayes Mansion in San Jose.  The threats seemed specific and convincing enough that I was in genuine fear for our lives.  At the time, I believed that xxxxxxx xxxx and any accompanying assailants would likely come after me -- and have no motivation to harm Graham if I were not at home.  So, I threw together an overnight bag in about five minutes and drove to what I think may have been the Hayes Mansion.  I was able to stay there overnight uneventfully, without speaking to anyone except the front desk clerks upon checking in and out of the hotel.

For some reason, I remember xxxx xxxxx calling me a few days later to praise me for being level-headed under the threatening circumstances.  I believe he stated he was in an airport somewhere during that call.  I also remember that he stated during that same phone call that I should never contact the police regarding xxxxxxx xxxx's stalking activity, which I thought was highly unusual.  He mentioned repeatedly that xxxxxxx (whom he insisted on referring to as "xxxxx" the xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx) "had preyed on a woman like this before," apparently referring to the patient xxxxxxx xxxx had victimized when he worked at the Stanford xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx office in Redwood City, CA.  I had no idea that he was warning me away from extensive corruption in the police department and the FBI.  That was, at the time, too far a leap for me to countenance.

I told Ken all about the threats and the hotel stay, which was undertaken in the interests of our safety.

I hereby certify that the foregoing is true and correct.

Lane MacWilliams 


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