My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Friday, September 23, 2022

Is Equinox Engaged in Money-Laundering for Far Right Criminal Interests?

I don't know the answer to this question.

What I do know is that several of the trainers at Equinox Palo Alto claimed to personally know my stalker, who is, by his own description, a leading member of the far right, a human trafficker, and a ranking member of Russian-affiliated organized crime within the United States.

Did myriad trainers at Equinox, being under my stalker's control, knowingly contribute to falsified law enforcement reporting being aggregated by the FBI as part of its corrupted Nationwide Suspicious Activity Reporting Initiative and its affiliated "target of interest" program?

I don't know the answer to this question either.

And the reason I don't know is that San Mateo County Sheriff's Office and the FBI have both failed to fulfill my Freedom of Information Act requests, despite my steadfast, tireless efforts in insisting that San Mateo County Sheriff's Case Report #19-11840, opened by my husband and me as an investigative report on my stalker, should be provided to me in their entirety.

Logically, I would just ask readers to consider the following.

If nothing is false within San Mateo County Sheriff's Deputy Rick Chaput's Case Report #19-11840, then why did he attempt to write a "replacement report" #20-02355, which he described to my husband as "more accurate"?

If material within these case reports reflects only the truth, then why has it been unlawfully withheld from me for twenty months, all the while my life, and the lives of my family members, have been under active threat?

If materials responsive to my FOIA requests are not corrupted, then why have I been continually pressured by FBI affiliates to accept redacted information?

If the San Mateo County Sheriff's Office and the FBI personnel who have added to this law enforcement reporting are telling the truth, then why have I been repeatedly pressured to accept materials without an AI-generated film bearing my likeness that is reported to be among the materials responsive to my FOIA request?

People, there is something very wrong here.  Very, very, very, very wrong.

Whether Equinox employees contributed to falsified law enforcement reporting within these materials, I don't know.  I haven't seen the information responsive to my request.  

I have been deprived of it, despite the fact that this material has been broadly distributed nationwide through federal information-sharing programs HSIN, N-DEx and/or LEEP.

The withholding of this material from me is unlawful.  In every way.  Unlawful.  Unethical.  Indefensible.

I have had ONE lifetime intimate partner, my wonderful husband of 32 years.

If anyone has alleged otherwise, I have the right to know that information, and, further, I have the right to take any and all slanderers and defamers to court.

If the FBI is extending pay to American citizens to lie about one another within falsified law enforcement reporting for anti-democratic objectives, the American public has both the right and the necessity to know that far right members of the agency are committing these crimes.

Without this full reckoning, our democracy is lost.

I am not willing to concede that struggle for our nation's soul, and I don't think President Biden is either.

Those who have lied about me or about my husband at the direction of my stalker and his FBI cohort need to face us in a court of law and explain their crimes.  What was the reason for this predation?  That we contribute to the Democratic Party?  That we are engaged and thoughtful and moderate members of the American electorate?

I am informed that my stalker has attempted to discredit me of late with a recording of my voice castigating him for his violence and then breaking down into tears.

Good people of the OIG Hotline, it takes acting ability to stay alive for five years when predators such as my stalker and his cohort are actively stalking an individual woman and her family.

Anyone who understands the life-and-death seriousness of the matter will be motivated to perform, adapt, improvise, and overcome -- and to do so repeatedly.  These men are highly dangerous -- they work in groups -- and they exhibit no conscience or remorse.  

There are times that my survival has been supported by expressed emotion.  I do not think I should be penalized for that ingenuity.  This journey has required the nerves of steel, creativity, and resourcefulness of someone with a military training I never received.

I feel proud of myself for my combined strength and adaptability under circumstances of extreme and ongoing predation perpetrated by far right criminals working in teams.

The fact that most people could not have done what I have done makes me all the more determined to help those law-abiding "targets of interest" who are without advocacy, despite their best efforts.

My ongoing quest for all materials responsive to my FOIA request is a quest for the truth.

It is miraculous that my family and I have survived long enough to continue to articulate my civil liberties in this matter.

But that miracle should be answered by the provision of all materials responsive to my FOIA request, as well as my husband's.

My plea is one borne of dedication to our democracy and sheer force of will in defense of our Constitution.

Stand with me in this worthy cause.  

Most sincerely,




Lane MacWilliams

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