My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Tuesday, July 25, 2023

UPDATE: The Most Powerful Force in the Universe

UPDATE:  Typographical errors have been corrected in the following content.

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OIG Hotline, I remain extremely concerned over the current decline in the health of my son, Graham MacWilliams.

He is currently spending the majority of his day in his room, apparently "listening" to information provided to him in some manner by FBI affiliates.  Again, it is alleged that the FBI is conveying some form of information to Graham via sound technology manifested by DEWs localized within our attic.

The greatest risks to me appear to be the following:

1.  Decompensation.  Graham likely believes, in hearing a disembodied "voice," that he is having a religious experience no one else can understand.  He does not possess the perspective that might enable him to perceive that such a voice could be created through technological means as a form of manipulation or control exerted by others.

2.  Sudden departure from the house.  Graham left our home yesterday evening to go for a walk unaccompanied and without telling anyone.  He has not done this in over a year.  He is currently gaunt, unshaven, and distracted.  It would be a simple matter for malevolent law enforcement to cause him harm, as has been threatened by FBI affiliates.  Also threatened has been a potential attack by the military-trained German Shepherd currently in the possession of Ariel Hiller.  Further, threats of his "disappearing without a trace" have been extended to me.

3.  Hostility.  It is dangerous for Graham to be hearing information that I, as his greatest advocate, may be opposed in some manner to his well-being.  Yet, the content he is hearing leads him decidedly toward this distrustful, frightened conclusion.  I am unable to encourage him to eat or drink when he feels prevented from extending trust.

4.  Medical crisis leading to hospitalization.  

a. Graham appears slightly jaundiced to me.  Yet, because of the falsified ultrasound results from El Camino Hospital, I cannot persuade a physician to order further imaging.  His gallbladder carries three large cysts that are likely obstructing the physiologic flow of bile.  Cholecystitis is a severely painful condition.  Without care, he is heading for a crisis on this basis alone.

b.  Graham possesses an undiagnosed pituitary tumor, reflected by his extremely elevated HGH.  He is, no doubt, suffering myriad physiologic symptoms due to the fact that his pituitary tumor continues to be unaddressed.

I have received myriad threats that Graham's next hospitalization will be his last as a result of some medical "accident" directed by the FBI or its affiliates, resulting in his demise.

What is needed in this circumstance?

First, the flow of disinformation being extended to Graham by the FBI and its affiliates through artificial means needs to be halted immediately.

Ideally, the DEWs involved in this technology should be collected from our attic and shown to him, so that he can understand the means of the deceit the FBI has perpetrated in this case.

Second, Graham needs to have his human rights restored by regaining unobstructed access to medical care.

Third, Graham and we as his family members deserve to know the truth of his prognosis, given his pituitary tumor and his Echinococcus multilocularis, the latter caused by Txx Lxxxx.

There is no coverup that can erase the crimes perpetrated by corrupt FBI agent Txx Lxxxx and others in this case.

Clearly, the rest of my family needs access to immediate medical evaluation as well.

Intervention in restoring Graham's access to safe and private medical care appears to be necessary for us, as the FBI has made clear that the agency simply intends to deny its crimes against him.

I have been encouraged to contact a personal injury attorney who will allegedly "negotiate" with the FBI on our behalf, presumably in seeking a settlement with a hush clause.

I remain unmoved by this suggestion.

My son has been monstrously victimized by Txx Lxxxx and his cohort within the FBI.  I want the truth of that matter to be known by the public, and for many reasons.

Our democracy will not benefit from my silence on this issue.

My grief over Txx Lxxxx' unconscionable crimes toward my family will not benefit from my silence over this issue.

Graham himself will not benefit from my silence on this issue.

Likely, the only beneficiary in pursuing such a course would be my bank account.

I'm sorry, everyone.  There are many, many concerns that are more important to me than money.

Our country is more important to me.  The right of American citizens not to be gratuitously preyed upon by a murderous far right is more important to me.  The spoken truth within medical treatment is more important to me.  The dignity and sanctity of the human spirit are more important to me.  My son's knowledge that I would never forsake him is more important to me.

I was reading a book by David Talbot on CIA Director Allen Dulles the other day, and within its remarkable pages, I came across a quote from JFK's days in the Senate:

The most powerful single force in the world today is neither communism nor capitalism, neither the H-bomb nor the guided missile -- it is man's eternal desire to be free and independent.

And I was struck by this assertion, which is as relevant now as it was in 1957.

I would respectfully disagree with the eminently wise Senator, if I could have sat in the same room with him at the time.

The most powerful single force in the world today is one person's love for her fellow man.  It is our benevolence, our compassion, and our kindness which transform the world before us into a place of freedom for all.

From this love flows the source of our courage to defend one another's civil liberties and human rights.

From this compassion flows the determination to protect the most vulnerable within our society, including those suffering from illness.

From this kindness flows the goodness that renders human society a worthy endeavor.

And yes, freedom and independence are an integral part of our human quest.  After the preservation of our unshakable human bonds, the quest for freedom and independence emerges as the second most powerful single force in the world today.

Without love for one another, we cannot defend one another's freedom.

And democracy requires that we muster that defense -- heroically, generously, tirelessly -- with a soul of kindness and courage.

We cannot be free unless we first know how to love those who seek that freedom.

My son is among that number.

Does my love for him stand as the most powerful force in the universe?

It does.




Lane MacWilliams


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