My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Wednesday, February 15, 2023

When the Far Right Co-opts Fed Ex

1.  What led you to believe that there was likely to be tampering with FedEx package #394555389954, which you attempted to send to OIG Hotline investigators?

Answer:  I was receiving quite a few threats that tampering could occur, and my husband had already dropped off the package at the Fed Ex in Santa Clara on Mission Boulevard.  So, I called the store and spoke to Leslie.

2.  And what did you say?

Answer:  I told her that I was an FBI whistleblower, that the package was going to investigators within thee DOJ, and that she should under no circumstances allow anyone from the FBI to take possession of the package.

3.  How did she respond?

Answer:  She responded by saying that she could guarantee the FBI would not take possession of the package prior to the afternoon pickup from the store.  

However, after the 5 PM pickup, she could make no such assurances.

4.  How did you receive that statement?

Answer:  With alarm.  Leslie made the statement several times.  I did not misunderstand her.

5.  She also said something else unusual.  What was that?

Answer:  She said, apropos of nothing, that if the package contained something dangerous, its delivery might be delayed.

6.  You assured her that the package contained nothing dangerous, didn't you?

Answer:  Yes.  I told her the contents were perfectly innocuous.  The package, now sealed and in my possession, contains 43 pages and a small digital audio recorder without batteries.

7.  But your stalker has long been threatening to perpetrate false arrest toward you or a family member, so, in that context, any allusions to dangerous contents of a package concerned you greatly.

Answer:  They did.  

8.  Fortunately, your husband was able to retrieve the package prior to its being picked up by the Fed Ex driver.

Answer:  Yes, he was.

9.  What are you going to do with the package?

Answer:  I am going to maintain it in its current state, unopened, and give it to the Investigations Division of the OIG Hotline when the means of doing so become safe.  Hopefully, Leslie can confirm that the package is in its original state, as she confirmed for me.

10.  You believe that Leslie may possess knowledge of important communications with FBI personnel to convey to OIG Hotline investigators surrounding the attempt by far right FBI personnel to tamper with this package.

Answer:  The Investigations Division has a very full plate.  But yes, I do.

11.  Do you hereby certify that the foregoing is true and correct?

Answer:  I do.




Lane MacWilliams

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The FBI is a deeply divided agency.  There are many FBI employees who view their vows to the Constitution with the utmost seriousness and honor, and who strive to defend the fundamentals of our democracy with courage, fortitude and commitment.  The fact that some segments of the FBI appear to have embraced a lawless course is not a justification to assail the FBI in general.  The safety of FBI agents should be protected, just as the safety of the American citizenry should be protected.  As President Joseph R. Biden has so rightly expressed, violence is never justified in any circumstance.  The rule of law must always be honored and upheld.  It is our shared determination to preserve the civil liberties and human rights of ALL AMERICANS that renders the United States a democracy.  We must never abandon this promise.  All of our most cherished freedoms depend upon it.  

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