My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Monday, May 29, 2023

When FBI Personnel Intentionally Render "Targets" Ill

 1.  What is your perspective on the FBI's apparent contamination of your food and water with the intention of causing serious illness?

Answer:  Other than that it's the most cowardly, covert, unconscionable attempt to silence a whistleblower I have heard of outside of, say, intentionally elevating exposures to ionizing radiation?

2.  Yes, outside of the FBI's previous crimes against your family.

Answer:  I think it's necessary for the American people to grasp that the far right is conducting itself in a manner that is consistent with covert physical aggression.  In response, it is necessary to hold to the rule of law and peaceable redress.

3.  Why do you feel that way?

Answer:  Far right factions of the FBI really hope to push their "targets" to the point of distress, anger, exhaustion, fear, and exasperation -- all in the hope that they can use a reaction to their predations as "evidence" that "targets: are "dangerous" people who deserve surveillance and harm.

It's necessary to deny them their goal.

"Targets of interest" must respond to aggression with calm disclosure.

"Targets of interest" must respond to lies with rational reference to the truth.

"Targets of interest" must respond to predation with reasoned exposure of the far right's crimes to the American public.

4.  You have received threats for six weeks or so relating to intentional parasite exposure by the FBI.

Answer:  Six weeks and longer.

5.  And what did those threats look like?

Answer:  They included the actual words "Parasite," "Eggs,"  "Restaurant," "Incubation,". "The Host," "Chest Burster," as exemplified in material I include below:







6.  At the same time, you started seeing online advertisements for medication you had never heard of before, such as Praziquantel, isn't that true?

Answer:  It is true.  I had never heard of Praziquantel before, and suddenly, it was being advertised every time I opened my computer.

7.  And what is Praziquantel?

Answer:  It is the first-line treatment for schistosomiasis.

8.  And you believe you may have schistosomiasis, based on your symptoms?

Answer:  Schistosomiasis is the only parasite that dramatically elevates blood pressure.  So, yes, I think it's quite possible.

9.  You have said that you've arranged for testing independent of any physician.  Why is that?

Answer:  A corrupt physician can cause an astonishing number of problems to a patient who is searching for private and safe medical care.  And the FBI appears to have an extremely convincing approach in stating to physicians that their cooperation is needed in a matter of "national security."

10.  Yet, that's a lie, isn't it?  Isn't the only "security" that's at risk the far right's "security"?

Answer:  Yes.  FBI agents have no business interfering in the medical care of any American citizen, and, I would argue, any foreign citizen either.  The fact that FBI agents have liberally extended false accusations that "targets" are engaged in "espionage" activity or "terrorist" activity represents an unconscionable exploitation of the powers the agency was granted within the Patriot Act -- and a remarkable misuse of the tools the agency wields within the Espionage Act as well.

11.  But given the FBI's misuse of these Acts, you don't feel that you can readily extend trust to a doctor whom you might consult.

Answer:  You know, sometimes a doctor is trying to be protective in not ordering necessary testing for you.  If they are aware of a plan to expose you to yet another pathogen through invasive testing, they might demure.  Their computer might suddenly "freeze."  This is sometimes their way of refusing to participate in a plan of harm.  It's necessary to give people the benefit of the doubt.

12.  But the end result is that necessary testing is not available to you.

Answer:  That's true.  In this case, I was able to order testing independently, though I'm not sure if that, too, will be obstructed.

13.  Why do you say that?

Answer:  Confirmation of my order that will allow me to pick up the tests themselves has been withheld so far.

14.  You think that confirmation may not come?

Answer:  We'll see.

15.  You actually managed to locate an at-home test for schistosomiasis, and you reached out to the company that provides it.  Do you believe your access to that test might be obstructed as well?

Answer:  We'll see.  If it is obstructed, I will be writing about that here.

16.  Why would the FBI want to prohibit your access to basic medical testing regarding the medical problem they have caused?

Answer:  First, they don't want to get caught.  A definitive diagnosis of GI schistosomiasis is a big problem for FBI personnel.  Second, they hope to drive whistleblowers into circumstances in which they are dependent on medical providers for their care, opening up the possibility of falsified witness statements by medical personnel, alongside active harm.

17.  What are you associations with schistosomiasis?

Answer:  The developing world.  Africa.  I once had a friend who had spent two years with the Peace Corps in Kinshasa, in what is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo.  She described to me the horrors of schistosomiasis in a way I will never forget.

18.  And your symptoms are gastrointestinal?

Answer:  Yes, they are.  In addition to the GI concerns, there is dramatically elevated blood pressure, as I've said.

19.  Do you feel that your situation is urgent due to the blood pressure concerns?

Answer:  You know, I really cannot contextualize the urgency of the situation.  Would I benefit from objective, expert, engaged, private, safe medical care at this time?  That would be an emphatic yes.  Does it appear that, having caused this illness, the FBI is now obstructing that care?  That would be another overwhelming yes.

But I don't feel qualified to comment on the urgency of this circumstance.  

I can simply say that I'm attempting to move forward rationally and judiciously, given the apparent risks involved in seeking help.

20.  What should happen to the FBI personnel who intentionally exposed you to this parasite?

Answer:  I believe in the rule of law.  The rule of law matters not only in the legal code itself, but also in the question of how rigorously that code is enforced.  Far right FBI personnel believe that they act with impunity, even and especially when they are violating the Constitution they have vowed to uphold.  Behind their outer guise of engagement, there is contempt for the American electorate.  If our democracy is to be rescued from the far right's schemes, we really need to calmly insist that the rule of law still matters, and that it does, in fact, apply to those who carry badges and wield the public trust.

Remember the Latin phrase, "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"  Who will watch the watchers?

The answer is none other than we ourselves.

21.  Do you hereby certify that the foregoing is true and correct?

Answer:  I do.




Lane MacWilliams

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The FBI is a deeply divided agency.  There are many FBI employees who view their vows to the Constitution with the utmost seriousness and honor, and who strive to defend the fundamentals of our democracy with courage, fortitude and commitment.  The fact that some segments of the FBI appear to have embraced a lawless course is not a justification to assail the FBI in general.  As President Joseph R. Biden has so rightly expressed, violence is never justified in any circumstance.  The rule of law must always be honored and upheld.  It is our shared determination to preserve the civil liberties and human rights of all Americans that renders the United States a democracy.  We must never abandon this promise. All of our most cherished freedoms depend upon it.

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