My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Wednesday, September 6, 2023

Letters to my Son

OIG Hotline, please be apprised of the following emails sent to my son.  It is my understanding that both my son and his girlfriend are coming under pressure to sign a hurried settlement agreement, with hush clause, with the FBI.

Surely, the FBI should not be endeavoring to pressure these two young people who have been so traumatized by the unwarranted aggressions of this agency.

My attempt to email my son over this issue has been erased from my gmail account twice over the last ten minutes.

We would appreciate the time and space in which my son and his girlfriend can take all the appropriate steps to support their health.  It seems that the FBI may need encouragement to respect that request.

Thank you for any intervention you can provide,




Lane MacWilliams

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Email sent from: lanemacwilliams@gmail.com. Date: September 6, 2023 at 11:20 PM.

xxxxxx, it is very important that we speak, because you and xxxx are going to come under intensive pressure to sign a settlement agreement with the FBI.  You should insist on taking the necessary time to recover from any painkiller dependency, as well as to reduce the burdens of underlying illness prior to signing a settlement agreement of any kind.  If you sign a civil settlement agreement with the FBI, you will waive your ability to pursue criminal prosecution of those who have perpetrated these crimes.  While you may decide to take that action ultimately, your decisions will have repercussions for many other Americans.  So, you should have the opportunity to reflect on what that means to you and to others, through expert legal advocacy and through consultation with your family.

In legal cases such as this, criminal prosecutions come first, then civil.

You need to be assertive about your need to recover your physical health right now.

This is the top priority.

Your father and I wish to help you in defining the best ways to facilitate your recovery -- and xxxx's as well.

Please insist on taking the time to speak with us prior to making any precipitous and irreversible decisions regarding this matter.  The conduct of Tom Lyons, Brandan Pesa and Christopher Wray in this case has the potential to affect the FBI profoundly.  So, again, you need not to bow to undue pressure, which I'm certain is already being extended toward you both.

Politely convey that you look forward to speaking to the FBI as soon as your recovery is further along.

And let's speak as soon as possible over the phone.

You are beloved, which I think you know.

Mom

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Email sent from: lanemacwilliams@gmail.com. Date: September 6, 2023 at 7:24 PM

Re:  A Phone Call?

Sweetheart, I would like to have a phone conversation with you, if you're willing, concerning the possibility f residential treatment for you for any kind of substance issue that may have developed inadvertently as a pain-killing strategy.

Your dad i happy to join in, or else we could have the conversation between the two of us, whatever your preference.

But I would ask that our conversation be private, and that it not be used in any manner as a notarized witness statement for those who have caused our family so much gratuitous harm.

We need privacy -- and the condition of privacy is really the only one in which your health can be reclaimed, in my opinion.

I want to ensure that your pain is being appropriately addressed, and I also want to know that you are free from any dependency on harmful or addictive substances, love.

Can we please arrange a phone call?

I love you always,

Mom

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