My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Saturday, September 9, 2023

UPDATE: Restricted Access: OIG Hotline Only

The content of this post is intended for the OIG Hotline.

All other readers are respectfully requested to exit this post at this time.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Lane MacWilliams

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UPDATE:  Please note that, while the post below makes reference to "Facebook friends," I have not logged onto my Facebook profile, nor have I engaged in any Facebook chats or messaging or logged onto alternate social media accounts in many months, likely well over one year.  Unfortunately, this restraint has likely not preventing FBI personnel and affiliates from impersonating me in these online spaces.




Lane MacWilliams

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OIG Hotline, my husband is away from our home right now, together with my older son, running errands.

Due to the number of kidnapping threats I have received from FBI affiliates, I do not feel safe in navigating isolated stretches of Los Trancos Rd. in the absence of a caravan.

Because of this circumstance, I believe it will be safest for me to attempt new notarizations of the five documents listed within my gmail account tomorrow, as opposed to today.

There remains the problem of notaries co-opted into supplying false witness statements to the FBI.

Clearly, when one needs to sign affidavits pertaining to the signing of affidavits, one has encountered a tautological problem in which infinite affidavits are necessary, without end.

I do not feel comfortable in contacting Mr. Sivanagaraju Yarramaneni at this juncture, for obvious reasons.

My husband, I must say, who has been infinitely patient with the need for notarizations, is lately demanding that the process come to a close.

He is an engineer, and used to solving tangible, real world problems with a pragmatism that does not depend on inference.

For him, the idea that the FBI could utilize a child's football to falsely accuse us of wrongdoing is simply fantasyland.

He cannot believe that the agency would be so irremediably corrupt, in other words.

I, as a student of history, see things differently.  While there certainly is no proof that the FBI used a child's football in a scheme of falsified reporting, the possibility is apparent.  The football disappeared in a narrow window of time while we were away from home, and I consider the four men present at Mr. Yarramaneni's office to have been unusual.  These details, combined with FBI affiliates' repeated references to "Friday," and a "drop," are concerning to me.

Suffice it to say that I will need to exercise the persuasive talent of an extraordinary diplomat to succeed in going on another notarization excursion with my husband tomorrow.

But extraordinary diplomacy does exist in the world, and, for reasons that are his own, my husband does love me in a rather profound way.

I will update this blog with the details of our progress, and I will hope that my efforts to communicate today have been sufficient to ensure our safety as a family tonight.

I remain extremely concerned about the welfare of my family members and friends as a whole.

My younger son and his girlfriend likely need immediate support with their pain control, and any dependency issues that have resulted from their suffering.

In addition, I feel strongly that, if the FBI has exposed any other family members or friends to HIV, the physicians or dentists involved should immediately notify those affected that an exposure has taken place, in addition to advising urgent prophylaxis.

The FBI is responsible for ensuring that these notifications occur right away.

Further exposures to Echinococcus multilocularis, high levels of ionizing radiation, or pathogens and toxins intended to cause targeted harm to other family members and friends must be disclosed on an immediate basis as well, and all predatory actions ceased.

Only when FBI personnel and affiliates understand that they will be held publicly and criminally accountable for these acts, will their perpetration halt.

My aunts and uncles and nieces and cousins, my literary friends, a former babysitter for my children, my childhood friends, my high school friends, my college friends, my Facebook friends -- I have received threats from FBI affiliates pertaining to all of these good people.

Though perhaps it is unnecessary to say, my friends and family members are wonderful individuals who have done nothing to deserve victimization by the far right.  I would give my life to save any one of theirs, if moral equations were so simple.  

Yet, life is more complex than such trades allow.  And the best I can do from this vantage is to promise to approach each and every one of them after this immediate challenge is overcome -- with a plan to question them in detail about their health and well-being, alongside a determination to share FBI crimes toward them with the wide and waiting world.

These good people deserve safety, as do all of us as Americans.

It is our defense of one another that renders that shared well-being possible, and our democracy thrives in the presence of such deep and resonant bonds.

Thank you for sharing that belief alongside me.

Your company continues to be a sustaining gift.




Lane MacWilliams

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