My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Wednesday, July 20, 2022

A Virtuous Man

This evening, my husband, Ken MacWilliams, joined several graduate school friends for dinner at Zott's in Portola Valley --   Gideon Yoffe, and Ray Snyder among them.  Paul Carey, present at previous gatherings, is purported to have supplied falsified "witness statements" about these gatherings to the FBI in return for compensation from Infragard.

What are the problems with the FBI's recruitment of the friends, and even family members, of "targets of interest" for the purposes of "informing" on them?  

Well, the problems are legion.

First, it is our ethical responsibility to present ourselves honestly and completely to our friends and family, without duplicity or deceit.  I would argue that it is our ethical mandate to present ourselves honestly in all settings at all times -- for the health of our neighborhoods, our communities, and our country.

Second, the conflicts of interest present in accepting compensation from Infragard in return for "reporting" on those for whom we hold allegedly genuine affection are unpardonable.

Third, we don't know what might happen to our "witness statements" after they leave our hands.  What if the FBI falsifies and notarizes those statements without our knowledge -- as it has been known to do -- and then uses those falsified statements to cause harm to someone for whom we care?  How is It possible to reconcile one's own self-serving actions with an outcome of the FBI's intentional harm?  Could one ever think of oneself as a "good person" after such a moral failure?  Likely not.

Friends and family members should claim the ethical stance at the outset and should hold it firmly.  They should staunchly refuse to "report" on others for pay -- or for any reason.

If a corrupt Nationwide Suspicious Activity Reporting Initiative needs new "targets" in order to justify its ten to twenty percent budgetary growth every year, we shouldn't be supplying fodder for that expansion.  Stasi-style denunciations, whether obtained through the FBI's threats, Infragard's bribes, or FBI-affiliates' concerted disinformation campaigns -- should not bear our signatures to further a plan of harming law-abiding American citizens for whom our democracy and, indeed, our humanity, demand that we care.

All of this begs the question, is it necessary for the OIG Hotline to guard against false witness statements associated with the names of Gideon Yoffe, Ray Snyder, Paul Carey, and others -- avowed graduate school friends, all?

Gideon, Ray, Paul, you tell me.

But your handlers, if they exist, should be aware that your conversations are recorded in their entirety and will be provided upon request.

The truth of a virtuous man remains intact, despite the apparent character failings of those who converse with him on a summer night.

My husband is that virtuous man.

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