My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Saturday, July 23, 2022

Lux in Tenebris: The Light Shines in Darkness

Given the FBI's interest in suppressing evidence of its engagement in falsified law enforcement reporting for anti-democratic objectives, I cannot help but wonder whether the fulfillment of my FOIA request has been intercepted from its progress in the U.S. mail. 

My stalker has admonished me to "keep silent" about the as-yet absent reports if I value my life and the lives of my family members.

He has threatened to assail may family and me through a staged car accident, through kidnapping, through a DEW assault with a device purportedly known as "the thrower," through a violent home invasion, through a staged law enforcement raid, through transmitting a serious pathogen to me in a health care setting, through job loss on the part of my husband and son, through HAARP, through sniper assault, through DEWs deployed from neighbors' houses, through killing my pets -- the list is endless, with warnings arriving daily.

Unfortunately, it appears as though the threats are not idle talk, but instead that some or all of them have involved detailed planning on the part of segments of the FBI and its affiliates.

My stalker has conveyed that he is holding regular "war room" meetings over this issue -- and that the far right is fully engaged with their weapons and their plans of harm.  He has communicated to me that a common refrain within these meetings is "We can't let them win."  And I suppose "them" means Americans who support democracy.

So, I feel I need to respond.

I am not yet in possession of materials responsive to my Freedom of Information Act request.

But, as I have explained, I hold abiding faith in President Biden, the Honorable Avril Haines of the ODNI, and the courageous investigators within the Office of the Inspector General Hotline of the U.S. DOJ.

I'm trusting that these virtuous and determined defenders of the Constitution will find a way to safely convey to me all materials responsive to my FOIA request.

And I'm waiting at my home until they do.

When materials responsive to my FOIA request reach my hands, I will post on this blog that I am in receipt of them.

In the meantime, the words I wish most to convey here and now are from James Whitbourn's choral work Lux in Tenebris.  

The Latin text reads:

Lux in tenebrious lucet et tenebrae eam non comprehenderunt,

which translates to mean 

The light shines in darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

This describes me with a view all the way to my soul.  

The light remains.  Hope is still illuminating all I do.  My faith holds.

There's a resonant performance of this composition here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndG9Px1ybos

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