My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Sunday, December 4, 2022

Update: Necessary Medical Treatment for a Whistleblower's Son

Update:  OIG Hotline investigators, my husband spoke with my son's physician today, who is encouraging every attempt to avoid hospitalization.  He has suggested a course of action that may allow us a path to out-patient treatment for our son's needs at this time.

Yesterday, I received a communication from my stalker which appeared to pertain to my son's care, in which he stated, "You should not appeal to the conscience of men who have none."

I take this to mean that our son's privacy and safety cannot be assured in the event of hospitalization. 

Certainly, our concerns for our son's health and well-being are paramount, alongside our desire to uphold his right to privacy.  We wish for him to be treated with the dignity and respect all of us desire for our loved ones.

I will update this post with tangible developments.

Thank you for allowing me to express these concerns,




Lane MacWilliams

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OIG Hotline investigators, this is to document that our older son appears to be declining in health, perhaps due to recent stressors introduced to our family through the predatory activities of FBI affiliates.

The events of the early morning hours of Friday, December 2, 2022, when men who are alleged to have been Navy SEAL personnel appeared on the second story deck of our residence, would be immensely stressful for the hardiest of individuals.

Our son, by contrast, is fragile.

As a result of what appears to be an exacerbation of his symptoms today, my husband and I will seek to have him hospitalized in the near future.  

Given my status as an FBI whistleblower, we are concerned for his safety in a hospital setting.

That said, his health appears to be at sufficient risk that we feel this step is necessary at this time.

I will simply observe that families are imperfect, and external stressors will affect family members differently.  My son, as a medical patient, has a right to privacy and safety, and it is extremely important for his well-being that these rights be preserved.

Patients in sufficient distress can experience confusion, frustration, and even anger, and it is critically important that they be met with compassion and not predation.

None of my son's physicians, nurses or treatment providers should be contacted by the FBI or paid by Infragard to diverge from best practices in our son's care, nor to falsely report on our family members.

For the FBI to have coerced our son's treatment providers Dr. Jacob Ballon, Dr. Kristen Stent, and Mr. Doug Bodin to lie about our family is unconscionable, in my opinion, and has served, in many ways, to actively obstruct his timely and appropriate care.

The son of an FBI whistleblower should be able to safely and privately access medical treatment without being recorded, filmed, harassed, or harmed.

It is a measure of our humanity to help those among us who are in medical distress, and to do so with generosity, empathy, kindness, confidentiality, and responsiveness.  

FBI personnel would do well to recall this truth.  If some of them have forgotten their obligations in this regard, perhaps we can remind them.

With appreciation,




Lane MacWilliams

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At the end of my posts regarding the unlawful actions of far-right personnel within the FBI, I will be adding the following statement.  The FBI is a deeply divided agency.  There are many FBI employees who view their vows to the Constitution with the utmost seriousness and honor, and who strive to defend the fundamentals of our democracy with courage, fortitude and commitment.  The fact that some segments of the FBI appear to have embraced a lawless course is not a justification to assail the FBI in general.  The safety of FBI agents should be protected, just as the safety of the American citizenry should be protected.  As President Joseph R. Biden has so rightly expressed, violence is never justified in any circumstance.  The rule of law must always be honored and upheld.  It is our shared determination to preserve the civil liberties and human rights of ALL AMERICANS that renders the United States a democracy.  We must never abandon this promise.  All of our most cherished freedoms depend upon it.

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