My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Wednesday, December 7, 2022

A Rebuttal to the FBI's False Claims: Evidence of Love Within a Law-abiding American Family

 1.  It has been conveyed to you that your son Duncan MacWilliams has been coerced, through threats and bribes extended by his FBI handler, to assert falsehoods about your family.

Answer:  Yes, it has.

2.  Among those falsehoods, you believe he has wrongly asserted that you and your husband never expressed that you were proud of him, that your husband was not actively engaged in your sons' activities and well-being, and that you exhibited narcissistic personality disorder in attempting to alienate him from his father and to undermine the well-being of both of your children.  He has perhaps in addition cast aspersions on your psychological stability.

Answer:  The suggestion that Duncan has attested to all of those falsehoods has been conveyed to me through my stalker, yes.

3.  Can you share with us what some of those communications have looked like?

Answer:  Yes.  These are messages that spontaneously appeared on my Pinterest feed.  They are not Pins that I saved to a message board.  They are simply communications I of which I took screenshots.







4.  The point of view shifts around within these Pins, but there seems to be a general narrative which conveys the presence of lying, duplicity, manipulation and gossip by family members who claim to have been victimized by their target.  In addition, there seems to be a suggestion of an absent father and a physically abusive mother.

Answer:  Yes, that's the way the material comes across to me.

5.  Do these assertions of alienation and abuse apply to your family?

Answer:  They do not.

6.  Do you have any evidence that they do not apply?

Answer:  I do have possession of some writing on the part of our two sons, which, over time, conveys with warmth and specificity why each of them viewed my husband and me as loving, supportive, and engaged parents.

I would just like to say that, to have to go in search of "evidence of love" is a diminishing thing.  The fact that malevolent acts on the part of FBI personnel in the form of knowingly falsified law-enforcement reporting could require such a defense of the virtuous public is a gross distortion of the mandate of this agency.

I do not believe that the national security interest is served by the FBI's intentional harm of trustful and loving bonds within law-abiding American families.

And I do not believe the public will view the FBI's crimes in this realm to be justifiable, or, indeed, excusable.

7.  Yet, you sought out some tangible proof of your sons' gratitude toward both you and your husband as their loving parents in the form of their own writing to you both over the years.  May we see this?

Answer:  Yes, of course.  I will include transcriptions of their writing here, and I will post photographs of their original writings as well.

8.  Do you hereby certify that the foregoing is true and correct, and that all the communications you include herewith are genuine?

Answer:  Yes, I do.







Lane MacWilliams

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From 2006, written by Duncan MacWilliams to Ken MacWilliams:

Dear Daddy, 
Happy Father's Day!
This week only comes once a year, so live it up!  I appreciate all the things you have done for Graham and I.  For example, basketball, soccer, Malibu Grand Prix :), and throwing the football and frisbee with us.  I really enjoy it!  I hope you will enjoy your present!  Happy Father's Day!! 

Love, Duncan :)

From 2006, written by Graham to Ken MacWilliams:

Thank you so much for supporting me during the tough times throughout this past year, especially prior to my math final and after my gum graft.  Thank you also for encouraging me toward my successes I received this year.  Most of all, thank you for shaping me into the positive, open-minded and optimistic man I will become.

Love, G :)







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From 2008, written by Duncan MacWilliams to Ken MacWilliams:

Dear Daddy,
You have done a lot for me during my life, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.  I apologize for the words that I said last night, and I hope you know that I didn't mean them.  I understand that work is tough sometimes, and I'm sorry for adding to the stress last night, and I appreciate all that you have done for me, the family, and the world.  I also appreciate the trip to Great America, the great lunches that we've had, frisbee and football, and maybe even a trip to Yosemite! :) You have also supported me through my many endeavors in life, and taught me never to give up.  Thank you for supporting me though this last season of track, and it has enabled my great foundation for other sports.  You've also helped me study for many math and science tests, and you have really kindled an interest in those subjects for me.  You are a very kind, generous, and understanding father.  I want you to know that I really apologize for all the things I said to you last night, and before.  You don't deserve that for all the hard work you have done for the family.  You also have a great sense of humor, and I have a lot of fun geocaching with you, guessing the temperature while driving to school, and spending time with you.  I also appreciate your gumption and drive for changing the world to the power of the sun, and it will continue to make a difference in the fight against global warming!  Through your parenting, you have helped me become a kinder and more responsible person, and it will help shape me into the man I will become.  I really look up to you and I appreciate your constant work ethic to make others around you happy.  You have done a lot in your life, and it is far from being over.  I shouldn't have said the things I did last night, and I really appreciate the things you have done to make our family and the world a better place.  Love, Duncan




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(Please note:  the following references a serious health problem experienced by my son while he was away attending College.)

From 2015, written by Graham MacWilliams to Lane MacWilliams:

Dear Mom, Happy Mother's Day!  I tremendously appreciate the incredible help and support you have given me over the last few months.  I very much value your time and efforts and look forward to being back at 100% soon.  I support you in your career and creative endeavors and hope you continue your momentum over the coming months.  I believe what we have done over the last few weeks has been tremendously helpful, and I look forward to continuing my improvement.

Happy Mother's Day!  I love you!

Graham




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From 2016, written by Duncan MacWilliams to Lane MacWilliams:

Dear Mom,
Happy Mother's Day!  Thank you so much for your support as I complete my first year as a college student!  Your help and encouragement during the 19 years of my life have taught me to persevere, enjoy each day, and cherish the relationships made along the way!  The strength and love that you show each day is inspiring! Enjoy the day, and take pride in all you have accomplished!  

Love you Mom!
Duncan




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(Please note:  Graham makes reference to my caring for my father during the years of his final illness in describing my actions as "superhuman fortitude."  He further refers to my return home from a writing fellowship of several weeks.)

From 2016, written by Graham MacWilliams to Lane MacWilliams:

Merry Christmas! It's not all the time that we get to sit back and take joy in being together as a family.  I am very grateful for your return home as your continue with your work!  Your superhuman fortitude in the face of incredible challenge is immensely inspiring to me.  Your enduring strength and resilience will not only foster the completion of the best form of your work, but also your  transformation into your truest self.  

It is an immense privilege to be your son.  I look forward to supporting you as you start the most exciting period of your life.

I love you,
Graham




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(Please note:  the following makes reference to the fact that my pregnancy with Duncan was sufficiently high-risk that physicians encouraged me to terminate my pregnancy.  I fully support every woman's right to choose.)

From 2017, written by Duncan MacWilliams to Lane MacWilliams:

Dear Mom,
Happy Mother's Day!

I feel like this could go unsaid, but thank you for giving birth to me!  Thank you for raising me in such a caring and involved way, and it is because of your amazing efforts that I am the person I am today.  I'm sure I was not the easiest kid to raise throughout my teenage years, and I think "rebellious" was used a couple times to describe my attitude, but you were able to handle it all!  I am so grateful to have you on my team, and I know the entire family is as well.  We are all inspired by your strength and your youth, and I am so lucky to be able to have you as my mom.

I love you,
Duncan




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From 2017, written by Graham MacWilliams to Ken MacWilliams:

Dear Dad, Happy Father's Day!  Over the last year, we have been inspired by your incredible drive and passion as you begin to engage in your own professional endeavors.  In both individual and professional pursuits, your ability to push the boundaries of what is possible is opening up new avenues to realize your dreams.  Witnessing you manifest the values and mindset you imparted to us growing up shows us that anything can be achieved.

(continued by Duncan MacWilliams to Ken MacWilliams)

At the same time, your ability to make time for family and friends highlights the importance of leading a balanced and happy life!    From a young age, our times playing frisbee and taking trips together shows us the immeasurable value of a balanced life, and are experiences that will always remain with us!  Take time to relax during Father's Day Month!

We love you!

Duncan and Graham




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From 2021, written by Duncan MacWilliams to Lane and Ken MacWilliams:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Happy birthday!!  It is always so great to be able to celebrate together.  Thank you for being such amazing, supportive parents and keeping our family happy and healthy, especially during the last year with the pandemic.  I love you both so much!

Love, 
Duncan




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Please note:  the following represents writing from my husband and me to Duncan MacWilliams on his 15th birthday in 2012.  Both of us have consistently expressed that we are proud of our sons.

Prior to the FBI's harmful interference in our family life, we had cause for this pride.

Our family was built on a foundation of trust, respect, truthfulness, and love for one another.

It is to our collective peril that some within the FBI view it as their prerogative to assail those honorable bonds.

From 2012, written by Ken MacWilliams to Duncan MacWilliams:

Happy Birthday, Duncan!

Congratulations on your wondrous growth over this past year.  Growth in character, mind, strength .... and of course, height.

I am so very proud of the young man you have become, and the fantastic accomplishments yet to be.

Have a fun, happy, joyous birthday .... and year!

Love, Dad

From 2012, written by Lane MacWilliams to Duncan MacWilliams:

Dearest Duncan, 

Wow!  15 years old, and you are almost as tall as I am!

Truly, I am so proud of your bright, determined, fierce spirit -- of who you are becoming in this world -- of the gifts you will dedicate to tasks great and good!  I love you so!




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Commentary:  I risk stating the obvious in observing that the level of support our family members have routinely extended to one another represents healthy, thriving, loving relationships.

If certain segments of the FBI maintain an interest in tearing apart loving American families through the corruption of the Nationwide Suspicious Activity Reporting Initiative or the agency's affiliated "target of interest" program, I am led to ask who for whom they are working.

I don't think it's in the best interests of our nation for the FBI to be utilizing family members to further the agency's crimes of falsified law enforcement reporting against law-abiding "targets of interest," who are over-represented by Democrats, journalists, women and people of color.

Of concern, it is the secrecy provisions within the Patriot Act and the Espionage Act that have allowed the FBI to commit these crimes with impunity.

If our democracy is to survive, and indeed if American families are to thrive, those secrecy provisions must be undone.

The FBI's abandonment of the truth in its desire to exercise totalitarian control over the social and economic progress of the American electorate demonstrates that we have extended too much unquestioned faith in the worthiness of the agency's leadership.  The agency's records and initiatives must be opened to rigorous public examination and review.

I speak for myself when I say that the trust among my family members is worth reclaiming.

And I speak for others when I say that the trust among all Americans, whether Democrats or Republicans, must be re-established in order for our nation to thrive.


Lane MacWilliams



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