My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Saturday, December 24, 2022

False Allegations about Lane MacWilliams Withdrawn

1.  Your son Duncan appears to have retracted the false allegations his FBI handler coerced him to make concerning your character.

Answer:  He has.

2.  In his letter responding to your December 14, 2022 email, included here below, he denies having made any claims of having experienced emotional, physical, or sexual abuse as a child, stating "I have never made any of the ridiculous claims that you have written here..."

Is it better to be called ridiculous than to be called a child abuser?

Answer:  Vastly better.  In the realm of comparative falsehoods, it represents a dramatically lesser wrong.

3.  Why?

Answer:  False claims of child abuse are so horrific as to completely invalidate the truthful testimony of a law-abiding "target of interest."  And, make no mistake, that is their intent.

4.  Do you fault your son over his previously false allegations concerning your character?

Answer:  My son made a series of short-term decisions in the face of threats of egregious harm to him, to his girlfriend, and to our family as a whole.  I believe he was attempting to protect our lives by lying in the ways his FBI handler demanded of him.

But over the long-term, those decisions brought us all to an untenable place, in which the lies of the FBI threatened to derail our family, just as they threaten to derail our country.

5.  Your December 14, 2022 letter to your son forced him to address the issue directly.

Answer:  My husband intervened to request a response from him, because his FBI handler was not allowing him to answer initially.  But yes, ultimately, my December 14, 2022 letter forced him to acknowledge the truth.

6.  The truth that you have always been a loving parent to him.

Answer:  Yes.

7.  Why does that matter?

Answer:  Why do the fates of several million law-abiding "targets of interest" matter?  Why does our Constitution matter?  Why do the civil liberties and human rights of all Americans matter?  Why does the soul of our nation matter?

8.  Have far right segments of the FBI endangered all of this?

Answer:  All of this and more.  If the FBI can "ruin" the lives, reputations, health, and livelihoods of any virtuous American it so desires, the agency will have achieved totalitarian control over our nation, the Constitution notwithstanding.

9.  Yet it didn't happen today.

Answer:  No, it didn't.  It's Christmas Eve, and I am feeling immensely thankful that the truth of this issue has emerged.

10.  Can your relationship with your son recover from the FBI's coerced lies regarding your mother/son relationship?

Answer:  With the truth as a foundation, all healing is possible.  That's true of my relationship with Duncan, but it's also true of the bonds of fellowship that define our neighborhoods, our communities, and our nation.  The truth can restore relationships that have been strained by the anti-democratic machinations of the far right within the FBI and elsewhere.

11.  Your faith in America's potential remains steadfast.

Answer:  Our nation possesses countless wonderful citizens who will strive for justice and peace if only they are given access to the truth of falsified law enforcement reporting for anti-democratic objectives.

12.  Can you contribute to that truth?

Answer:  I hope that will be my privilege.




Lane MacWilliams

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OIG Hotline investigators, please note that my son's emailed response to my letter follows at the end of this post.  While it appears to be condescending and even derogatory in tone, the truth that I have never abused by son in any capacity is nonetheless included herein.

Most sincerely,




Lane MacWilliams

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Sent from: lanemacwilliams@gmail.com.  Date: December 14, 2022 at 2:13 PM

Re: Honesty Is Necessary to Our Family

Duncan, my son,

I regret to write to you with the news that I am in receipt of a disturbing allegation:  namely, that you have made knowingly false claims to others concerning our family.  Specifically, I am informed that you have falsely claimed that you suffered emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse as a child.  Further, I am told that you have lied in stating that I, your mother, committed such crimes against you.

Duncan, beloved child of mine, I hope these assertions of your false testaments are misplaced.  Trust and honesty are so foundational to family bonds.  I have always strived to teach you this, in the hope you would recognize its necessity in creating a family's ethical center.  If there is duplicity or prevarication, even on the part of a single family member, family bonds begin to fail.  And these are difficult to recover.  Our principles of truthfulness, courage, integrity, and kindness must guide us in our individual choices.  Without these, the baser motives of profit and power will advance.

The far right within the FBI would have you believe that the ends justify the means, that lying can serve a greater good, that harming others can initiate you into a "brotherhood" that serves a "better society."  Yet these are the deceits on which fascism relies.  History shows us that they are clandestine, malevolent and inhuman.  During WWII, the Nazis believed they were building a master race that would bring glory to a "greater Germany."  Instead, they committed human atrocities that brought an enduring, ignominious shame to their nation.

Duncan, my son, worthy ends never justify unworthy means.

Honorable men will never ask you to lie about your virtuous parents.

And no just cause will demand that you harm the innocent and unaware.

Duncan, once, when you were about ten years old, you announced to me at breakfast one morning, "I love our family, and I like our family, too.  I like each individual person in it.  Everyone in our family is smart and kind and strong."  On and on you went.  It was one of the most delightful gifts I have ever received -- these unprompted words from your ten-year-old self.

Because I feel the same way.   Our family has been a touchstone, a solace, a joy, a shelter, an adventure, a safe haven.  It has both nurtured and safeguarded our hearts and minds, in part because we have always offered honesty to one another.

I ask that honesty of you now.

If you have claimed to have been abused by me in your childhood, please write to me to disclose why you have lied.  Just honor me with the unvarnished truth of your reasons.  I will hear them attentively, I promise you.

If, on the other hand, you have made no such claims, I ask that you confirm that fact in writing as well.

In either case, please respond to me prior to December 21, 2022.

Duncan, thank you for honoring my request with the seriousness it requires of you.

No threat or bribe is worth a diminishment of your fundamental integrity.

No loss or bounty is worth a separation from the sovereignty of your soul.

I look forward to hearing from you soon, dear one.

I love you always,

Mom

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Sent from: lanemacwilliams@gmail.com. Date:  Wednesday, December 21, 2022 at 2:13 PM

Re: Honesty Is Necessary to Our Family

Duncan, I see that December 21st has arrived, and I regret that I have not received any response to my letter of Wednesday, December 14, 2022, sent one week ago.

I have included another copy of that letter below, and I would respectfully request your reply on an immediate basis.

This is such an important matter, Duncan.

The upholding of honesty and integrity within our family is necessary for the sustenance of our loving and respectful bonds.

If your FBI handler has pressured you to lie about your childhood in an effort to discredit me as an FBI whistleblower, that malfeasance belongs to him.  Our loving family ought not to bear the burden of his character deficits.

I am waiting to hear from you, my son.

I love you always,

Mom

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Sent from:  duncan412@gmail.com. Sent to:  lanemacwilliams@gmail.com. Date: December 24, 2022 at 12:47 PM

Mom, I'm sorry your'e thinking such dark thoughts.  I have never made any of the ridiculous claims that you have written here and I ask that you stop emailing or texting me with any further upsetting allegations.

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Sent from:  lanemacwilliams@gmail.com. To: duncan412@gmail.com. Date: December 24, 2022 at 5:27 PM

Duncan, dear one, the suggestion that such claims had been made within falsified witness statements provided to the FBI did not originate with me.

Thank you for confirming that you do not stand by such claims.

Indeed, the truth is the most joyful Christmas gift I can imagine.

I so appreciate your extending it to me.

I love you always,

Mom

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