My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Friday, January 19, 2024

An Open Letter to FBI Director Christopher Wray

 To FBI Director Christopher Wray:


It has come to my attention that my older son, who is currently hospitalized, has been directed by FBI personnel to allege falsehoods about our family in an attempt by the FBI to discredit us at the very least.


At the very worst, this disinformation was allegedly intended to prompt a law enforcement raid at our property.  Of concern, according to FBI affiliates, this was the primary objective.


Previously, FBI affiliates suggested that FBI personnel repeatedly directed my older son to adopt language and actions that in no way represented his kind, conscientious and peaceable personality.


It has been alleged to me that my son has been filmed by the FBI in following these FBI directives, and that this material has been used repeatedly to defame him and our family as well.


FBI affiliates have disclosed to me that my son’s compliance has been compelled through repeated harms that constitute torturous malfeasance perpetrated by the FBI.


It is further suggested that FBI personnel concealed certain endocrine anomalies from us in an attempt to hide the agency’s culpability in our son’s untreated pituitary tumor.


Other serious and potentially life-threatening harms to our son’s health have also allegedly been perpetrated by the FBI, some of them associated with his current hospitalization.


In light of the above, I would extend the following questions to you at this time:


  • Will you please disclose to the American public the nature of the FBI’s “disposition matrix”?

  • How long has the “disposition matrix” existed within the agency, and how many people has it targeted?

  • How and when do the FBI’s “disposition matrix” and the DoD’s “Phoenix Program” overlap?

  • Does the FBI engage in the deployment of biological pathogens as part of its “disposition matrix”?  What pathogens are currently being deployed by the FBI against law-abiding American citizens?

  • What are the means of deployment?

  • Does the FBI engage in the deployment of chemical contaminants as part of its “disposition matrix”?  Which ones?

  • Is hexavalent chromium among the chemicals the FBI deploys against those targeted by the FBI through the “disposition matrix”?  Dioxin?  PBB? What else?

  • How does the FBI approach the issue of environmental clean-up after it has deployed environmental toxins through the “disposition matrix”?  Are the neighbors informed of this dissemination and the attendant risks to their own health?  Is the EPA informed?

  • Does the FBI ever engage utilities companies to perpetrate environmental harms at FBI directive toward those targeted on the “disposition matrix”?

  • Electric utilities?  Public water utilities?  Cable utilities?

  • What kind of harms do these utilities perpetrate at FBI directive?

  • Have FBI affiliates ever, at the FBI’s express directive, conveyed a weapon of any kind into the hands of a person listed on the agency’s “disposition matrix”?  Why?

  • Have FBI affiliates ever, at the FBI’s express directive, threatened that a person on the FBI’s “disposition matrix” will be harmed if he does not comply with FBI directives to cause harm to another person?  Have FBI personnel threatened these harms directly if a “targeted person” fails to comply with harmful directives? Why?

  • Has the FBI ever threatened that a person on the FBI’s “disposition matrix” will be harmed if he does not drive a car to a location specified by the FBI, even though he has no license to drive?

  • Have FBI affiliates ever, at the FBI’s express directive, threatened that a person on the FBI’s “disposition matrix” will be harmed if he does not comply with FBI directives to “deliver a package” to a specified recipient?  Have FBI personnel threatened these harms directly if a “targeted person” fails to comply with harmful directives?  Why?

  • Has the FBI ever threatened to arrest someone for following FBI directives?  Why?


Mr. Wray, my older son does not have a license to drive a vehicle.  He is not going to be driving a vehicle absent FBI directives to him to do so.  Do not extend them, sir.


My older son has no desire to return to his high school, nor to any other school he previously attended.  He is not going to be returning to his high school, nor to any other school he previously attended absent FBI directives to him to do so.  Do not extend them, sir.


My older son does not naturally have an aggressive temperament.  He is not going to be expressing an aggressive temperament unless the FBI deprives him of adequate medical care for his pituitary tumor or other illnesses, and he is not going to be expressing an aggressive temperament unless the FBI specifically, word for word, action for action, directs him to do so.  Do not deprive my son of adequate medical care.  Do not direct him to engage in aggressive words and actions.


My older son does not use drugs, consume alcohol, steal, engage in human trafficking, perpetrate drug trafficking, prey upon the vulnerable, harm animals, seek out or watch explicit material, participate in “espionage,” participate in radicalism, Communism, or “terrorism” or act in the capacity of “Phoenix Program” personnel..  Do not have the FBI or its affiliates direct him to do so.


While we’re on the subject, sir, do not have the FBI direct my younger son to use drugs, consume alcohol, steal, engage in human trafficking, perpetrate drug trafficking, prey upon the vulnerable, harm animals, seek out or watch explicit material, participate in “espionage,” participate in radicalism, Communism, or “terrorism,” or act in the capacity of “Phoenix Program” personnel either.


Neither my husband nor I use drugs, consume alcohol to excess, steal, engage in human trafficking, perpetrate drug trafficking, prey upon the vulnerable, harm animals, seek out or watch explicit material, participate in "espionage," participate in radicalism, Communism, or "terrorism" or perpetrate any other crimes.  Yet, I am informed the FBI has coerced both of our sons into lying about one or both of us as their parents.


Neither one of my sons normally lies to or about his family members.  Stop having FBI personnel and affiliates direct them to do so.


Remove all communications devices currently being used by the FBI and its affiliates to direct the words and actions of my older son.


Immediately and permanently discontinue all FBI communications and FBI affiliate communications with both of my sons.


Mr. Wray, the fact that I have stood up to the FBI’s criminal malfeasance toward the law-abiding American public does not mean that my sons are canon fodder for the FBI’s “disposition matrix,” nor for the DoD’s “Phoenix Program.”


Stop attempting to turn them into the criminals your far right agency personnel so lamentably have come to embody.


Mr. Wray, I believe there are many honorable employees of the FBI, those for whom the Constitution’s defense is viewed with utmost seriousness, those who refuse to produce or disseminate disinformation or harm, those who decline to perpetrate crimes against the virtuous public.


But my sons’ FBI handlers are not among them, sir, and they never will be.


Accordingly, sir, this represents your opportunity to cease and desist all communication from the FBI and FBI affiliates to my sons.


The FBI owes them both a full restoration to perfect health, representative of the original healthful foundation with which they were both born. 


Beyond this, the FBI owes my family an abject and sincere apology for the unwarranted harms the agency has perpetrated, and continues to perpetrate, against my family as a whole.


That apology should include a release of both of my sons from the secrecy agreements they were forced to sign, in recognition of the fact that our family now deserves to heal through honest discussion among ourselves about the myriad crimes your agency has committed against us.


The country deserves to heal from the FBI’s predations, too, Mr. Wray, but that discussion is perhaps best reserved for another time.


Sincerely,

Lane MacWilliams


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