My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Tuesday, October 25, 2022

The Actions of the FBI Leave a Whistleblower Shaken

 1.  You recently had a frightening experience in which you suspect an acquaintance lied about you in falsified witness statements and then attempted to send you certain incriminating information through a certified mailing that you thought included only a rental check and lease documents -- all at the direct instruction of the FBI.

Answer:  That's true.  I would choose the word "terrifying" to describe these suspected events, not "frightening."  But yes, these are the lies and betrayals that appear to have occurred.

2.  Why terrifying?

Answer:  I view attempted first-degree murder of patriotic and law-abiding American citizens by the FBI to be a terrifying prospect.  This agency is so well-versed in disinformation that the vast majority of American citizens will not be able to defend themselves from such condemnatory allegations.  The prospect that I, as an FBI whistleblower, could have died in a hail of bullets fired during an FBI raid is not low.  The prospect that a family member of mine could have died in a barrage of gunfire during an FBI raid is not low either.  Lies perpetrated by law-enforcement officers can and often do kill innocent civilians.  And this is frequently their intent.

3.  But democracy cannot survive in the face of such institutional lies toward law-abiding citizens.

Answer:  No, it cannot.  And that's why I have risked my life -- and, without my consent, my family members' lives -- to try to tell the truth about this clear and present danger that the FBI has come to represent to our civil liberties and human rights as American citizens.

Obviously, the FBI felt that it could lie convincingly enough about me that it could justify killing me outright.

4.  And that has left you shaken.

Answer:  Most definitely.  When you base your whole life on the truth, as I have done, you do not expect that large groups of people can be coerced through threats and bribes, to betray virtuous Americans.  There is no amount of money that could compel me to behave this way toward someone else -- anyone else.  And there is no threat that could force me to engage in such a wrong.

5.  Why not?

Answer:  My self-respect, my sense of honor, my faith, my commitment to serve others -- all of these things are far too important to me to abandon.  I'm not capable of it.  It wouldn't even be an active decision on my part.  I just would not be capable of it.  My husband, I know, would be the same way.  He is a wonderful person of the highest integrity.  He wouldn't be able to abandon the principles by which he lives, just as I cannot.

6.  What is your feeling about the FBI at this point?

Answer:  I just need to express that I believe there are many wonderful people of high ethics and integrity who work within the FBI -- people I would be proud to know.  But the agency, so I am told, maintains a military chain-of-command culture that requires operational compliance from its personnel, even when directives violate the Constitution.  And this dynamic, if true, renders the agency an astonishingly dangerous threat to Americans' civil liberties and human rights.  If there's a choice to be made between the future of our democracy and the advancement of the FBI leadership's apparently totalitarian objectives, I hope democracy wins.

7.  And that's a hope you've staked your life on.

Answer:  I have.  Because I think the future of our democracy is that important.  We have a wonderful President who understands all that is at stake in this struggle for Americans' fundamental freedoms, and because of this -- because of President Joseph R. Biden -- our democracy stands a chance.

8.  What concerns do you have at this moment?

Answer:  At this moment?  I am concerned for my husband, who is attending a conference in Las Vegas.  Concerned for his safety and his well-being.  And concerned that the FBI may attempt to have colleagues attending this conference contribute to falsified reporting about him.  I have asked him to record his meetings, so that he is less vulnerable to falsified witness statements compelled by the FBI.  But I find the FBI's actions toward my family to be terrifying, as I have said.

9.  What will it take for you to feel reassured?

Answer:  The spoken truth.  My husband is innocent of all wrongdoing, as am I.  The truth can defend us in its own noble and insistent way.  Only the truth.

10.  If the truth can be reclaimed for your family, what else do you hope for?

Answer:  I have a dream of reclaiming the truth for millions of law-abiding "targets of interest," and helping to rescue our democracy in that process.

11.  That's a big dream.

Answer:  All the worthy ones are.

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At the end of my posts regarding the unlawful actions of far-right personnel within the FBI, I will be adding the following statement.  The FBI is a deeply divided agency.  There are many FBI employees who view their vows to the Constitution with the utmost seriousness and honor, and who strive to defend the fundamentals of our democracy with courage, fortitude and commitment.  The fact that some segments of the FBI appear to have embraced a lawless course is not a justification to assail the FBI in general.  The safety of FBI agents should be protected, just as the safety of the American citizenry should be protected.  As President Joseph R. Biden has so rightly expressed, violence is never justified in any circumstance.  The rule of law must always be honored and upheld.  It is our shared determination to preserve the civil liberties and human rights of ALL AMERICANS that renders the United States a democracy.  We must never abandon this promise.  All of our most cherished freedoms depend upon it.

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