My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.




Thursday, April 6, 2023

On the Subject of the Human Atrocities Committed by the Far Right

1.  How do you feel about the alleged actions of the FBI in conjunction with Cal Water and other utilities?

Answer:  That's equivalent to asking me how I feel about human atrocities.

2.  And how do you feel about human atrocities?

Answer:  Those who would kill the virtuous through covert means of attack fear only one or two limited things.  They fear the facts, obtained by those who can discover them.  And they fear broader public exposure of their crimes.  And that is all.  These are not individuals with a functioning conscience, a viable sense of empathy, a capacity for genuine human bonds, or any potential for self-reflection or remorse.  

So, I feel they should be exposed for the truth of their crimes.  

And I feel they should be held accountable for those crimes in a legal context.

3.  Why?

Answer:  Without that accountability, predators feel justified in their belief that they can prey on anyone with impunity.   A case in point was Donald Trump explaining to a reporter in 2015 that he could march down to Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, and his supporters would still cheer for him.  Benevolent people would never hypothesize in this way.  Ever.

4.  But there is something particularly horrifying about covert attempts to harm virtuous people, which seems to represent the actions of some far right segments of the FBI.

Answer:  Ultimately, the facts will require that the far right's actions be described as something more serious than an attempt to harm.  These actions, perpetrated at scale, constitute human atrocities.  It's necessary for us to understand this.

And the covert nature of these crimes -- yes, this is no less than horrifying.

Predatory people know they will be condemned by public opinion, which is why they hide.

Hitler didn't advertise the concentration camps.

Christopher Wray and his affiliates are not advertising the "disposition matrix" either.

5.  Does it appear that Cal Water placed radium salts into your public water supply at the direction of the FBI?

Answer:  I will simply say that a public water supply is not normally highly radioactive.  The actions of Cal Water and the FBI in this matter constitute an investigative subject for the OIG Hotline.  Because this issue may affect many law-abiding Americans, I believe this subject of inquiry matters to everyone who supports the civil liberties and human rights our Constitution grants to us as Americans.

6.  Are you fearful over the potential impacts on your family's health?

Answer:  I am.  FBI affiliates have been sending me threats about cancer among my family members for years.  This is one example:


There really are no words to describe my feelings about my family members having been preyed upon in this manner.  Outrage?  Grief?  Fear for those I love?  All of this falls short.

The only thing productive thing I can do is strive to ensure that this matter be fully illuminated so that these predations will not be perpetrated toward other Americans.

The far right feeds off of causing fear.  So, I don't want fear to be my focus.  

I want the truth and legal recourse to be my focus, and both of these in the service of our democracy.

7.  You said FBI affiliates have been encouraging you to spend time at the kitchen sink for years.  Does the reason for this now make sense to you?  Were they attempting to expose you to the highest levels of radiation possible?

Answer:  This appears to be the case.  Every day, I  received the message that "dishes are never a chore," -- and even that this location in the house may somehow be protective.

8..  What can the far right say to adequately apologize to you and your family?

Answer:  Nothing.  There is no apology that can be credible under circumstances of conscious, planned, and prolonged premeditation.  These people are alleged to have engaged in attempted murder of a law-abiding American family.  Apologies do not constitute adequate redress.

9.  It is difficult to contemplate these crimes without recognizing their astonishing malevolence.

Answer:  Malicious predators exist in the world, unfortunately.  The far right has taught me that in a way I never knew it before.

The only possible answer to them is found in the highest ethics, an insistence on the human dignity and the irreplaceable worth of their victims, our generous compassion for what the innocent have suffered, and our insistence on lawful redress in unmaking institutional forms of predation.

9.  Are these forms of predation evil?

Answer:  Was Mengele evil?  Was Goebels evil?  

Gratuitous and intentional harm falls into this realm.

10.  Isn't it especially hurtful that Americans -- albeit far right Americans -- are perpetrating these crimes toward other Americans?

Answer:  It is.  I think it's clear that some Americans who possess a will to power care more about domination than about virtue.  The problem is that such misplaced priorities lead to dystopian programs which gratuitously victimize our best and brightest.  And that's no way to build a strong and worthy nation.

10.  How should the public address FBI Director Christopher Wray, given the crimes of far right FBI personnel under his watch?

Answer:  FBI Director Christopher Wray is accountable to the truth.  The American public should make clear to him that his agency's prevarications will no longer be accommodated.  Mr. Wray took a vow to uphold the Constitution from all enemies foreign and domestic.  He owes the American people an explanation as to why he violated that vow.

11.  You are still receiving extensive threats from FBI affiliates, is that correct?

Answer:  It is. 

12.  May I ask what they are?

Answer:  Threats of radiation poisoning.  EMF harms.  Acid attack.  Staged car accident.  Sniper assault.  Violent home invasion.  Induced blindness.  Arson.  Flooding.  Home insurance cancellation by MPIUA.  Spurious lawsuit.  Forced property divestment.  False arrest.  Forced job loss.  Some type of enhanced IRS audit caused by the knowing misreporting of taxes by our accountant. DEW assault. Withheld medical care. Car bomb.  Forced boat divestment through the collusion of Parker's Boat Yard. Gas leak perpetrated by a major utility company leading to explosion.  Kidnapping.  Carbon monoxide poisoning. "Extraction."

13.  And one FBI affiliate in particular has suggested that a family member of yours has a brain tumor and that the radiologist lied to you in reading his MRI.

Answer:  That's correct.

14.  How does it feel to you that a predator has spoken to a radiologist about your family member's MRI and you haven't?

Answer:  It feels wildly unjust, cruel, totalitarian, predatory, invasive, callous, and wrong.

15.  You continue to receive threats from FBI affiliates to the lives of your younger son and his girlfriend as well.

Answer:  That is correct.  I do.

16.  Beyond this, you have received threats pertaining to the flights of your family members who are traveling to Hawaii on April 22nd.

Answer:  I have.

17.  Do you know their flight numbers?

Answer:  Not yet.  But I will post them when I do.

18. The FBI affiliate whom you consider your stalker is reputed to be a leading member of Russian organized crime within the United States.

Answer:  That is what I have been told.

19.  Isn't it particularly offensive that someone who is an enemy of our country is accusing loyal Americans of his own set of crimes?

Answer:  This is a pattern for the far right, unfortunately.  And yes, it is deeply offensive.

20.  Why is FBI Director Christopher Wray reportedly acquainted with your stalker?

Answer:  That, I suspect, is a challenging question with a challenging answer.

21.  And General Mark Milley's alleged acquaintance with your stalker?

Answer:  Yet more troubling.

22.  Are those who demonstrate contempt for the Constitution worthy of the public trust?

Answer:  I think the public should have the opportunity to answer that question, after hearing all the facts of this case.




Lane MacWilliams

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The FBI is a deeply divided agency.  There are many FBI employees who view their vows to the Constitution with the utmost seriousness and honor, and who strive to defend the fundamentals of our democracy with courage, fortitude and commitment.  The fact that some segments of the FBI appear to have embraced a lawless course is not a justification to assail the FBI in general.  As President Joseph R. Biden has so rightly expressed, violence is never justified in any circumstance.  The rule of law must always be honored and upheld.  It is our shared determination to preserve the civil liberties and human rights of all Americans that renders the United States a democracy.  We must never abandon this promise. All of our most cherished freedoms depend upon it.

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