My Third Novel's Conclusion, My Heartbreak

My heart begins to break when I think about completing this particular book -- because this narrative has sustained me like no other story I've known. It's both more personal and more universal than my other works. But beyond memory and archetype, it's a cri-de-coeur about needing to become the person one is destined to be. And in the writing, I have met my own life's work, my own fated journey -- having the sense all the while that the pages are suffused with a resonance, an energy, an electrified field that defies explanation. Writers hope and pray to be overtaken by a work in this way -- to be conscripted into passionate service of a profound story. To experience it even once in a lifetime seems a great privilege. I still have several months before this novel is complete, and this constitutes my reprieve. Because I'm not ready for the beauty to end.

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

A Conversation That Never Took Place: Part II

(Please note:  this post has been twice erased from my blog by third-party intervention, presumably on the part of the FBI itself.  This action leads me to believe that my truthful testament within this text asking for accountability on the part of individual members of the FBI is a clarion call that purveyors of the FBI's calculated disinformation are not accustomed to hearing.)


It is a shock to realize that segments of the FBI are operating with a totalitarian agenda.

I raised my children with both a belief in and an expectation of democracy.  I fear that I did not prepare them for domestic enemies of democracy wielding badges and the public trust.

My youngest son has been assailed by FBI agents who have threatened to "wreck his life," kill his parents, kill his girlfriend, assail his girlfriend's parents, on and on.

That's a great deal of pressure for a twenty-five year old.  In truth, that's a great deal of pressure for anyone.

One day, I confronted my son about taking pay from Infragard in return for signing witness statements concerning our family.

He immediately lost his temper -- a response which is entirely uncharacteristic for him.  He asked me who my "source" was within the FBI, a query which astonished me.  I had no notion how to reply.  Was my stalker a "source"?

He swore, which I cannot recall his having done in my presence.  Ever.

Despite my frustration that day, my response to my son was calm, measured, and direct.

It is my understanding that the FBI, having recorded that conversation, spliced my son's swearing -- again, a one time event in his life concerning his communications with me, occasioned by extreme duress -- with recorded segments of my genuinely joyful laughter from other conversations within my private home.

The result, apparently, is a recording which sounds as though our family is disrespectful, derisive, tone-deaf to one another's angst, aggressive, dismissive and callous.

It constitutes a recording that makes us sound utterly monstrous, so I am told.

Only it reflects a conversation that never happened, devised with an intent to mischaracterize us so thoroughly that we would not be able to recognize ourselves.  In the eyes of the rest of the world, we would be profoundly and permanently discredited.

By creating and wielding this type of disinformation, the FBI can cause incalculable harm.

And it has.

And so, it is necessary to recognize that certain segments of the FBI have appeared to embrace a Gestapo mentality.  All laws can be broken, apparently, in service of the greater cause, which is autocracy:  limitless power and money and control in the hands of an unelected few.

The truth upheld and publicly spoken is the only possible antidote to such concealed deceit.

My family requires this truth in order to heal from the distrust the FBI has intentionally and forcibly planted among us, in coercing a loving son to "inform" on his law-abiding parents.

And our country requires this truth in order to heal from the divisions the FBI has intentionally inflamed in its quest for its own power.

To my son, whom I haven't seen since that day, I would say the following:  the struggle for our democracy in which I am so passionately engaged is a struggle informed by my love for our family, not in ignorance of it.

Our common bonds and good faith can overcome the unwarranted attacks the FBI has waged on our families, our communities and our democracy.

But the FBI must be held accountable for its wrongs in that process.

Fake audio recordings, alongside fake films co-opting the likeness of "targets," are no accident.

They represent a premeditated criminality intended to destroy lives.

Certain members of the far right within the FBI have embraced that criminality with a viciousness and aggression that conveys a quest for total domination of the social and economic lives of Americans who would prefer to call themselves free.

We must ask these individuals to speak their names clearly in the public square and explain to the American public why they have done so.


This communication was sent today to the Office of the Inspector General Hotline of the U.S. Department of Justice in care of the OIP as part of an email regarding the following: the FBI's engagement in falsifying audio recordings with the intention of discrediting "targets of interest."  This email, with one attachment of three pages, was sent to the OIG Hotline from at 1:27 p.m. Pacific time on August 3, 2022, and to selected recipients within the OIP at 1:30 p.m. Pacific time on August 3, 2022, with copies forwarded to and

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